I started this semester knowing there would be added challenges that I had never encountered before. As a person who enjoys writing as a form of expression I welcomed these challenges with open arms so to speak. The challenges that arose were difficult to say the least, but with every new assignment a bit of confidence ensued. That is until the next challenging assignment came and I became a puddle of self doubt. The confidence I had gained seemed to become non existent and the semester seemed to become longer and longer. But alas here we are with only a week remaining and somehow I've completed all the essay's assigned. They might not have been the greatest essay's but I can attest they were completed and written with full effort. If someone were to describe me based on my writing I suppose their perception of me might differ depending on what they were reading. Since this blog is based academically my hope will be they see me as a growing writer. One that wants to grow but most importantly one that wants and knows there is always room for growth. This semester has been quite challenging when it comes to critical thinking and composing essays. I have been moved outside my comfort zone and that has been quite the adventure. Days of starring at a white screen on Microsoft word, typing and deleting sentences, sometimes just having a simple word on the screen and having no idea where to go from there. That has been the sum of most of my time spent composing essays. Then a little shimmer of enlightenment happens and I feel like I have something so I begin typing and typing. Sometimes I'm right there is a good idea somewhere in there, but most of the time I just feel like an imposter. What have I learned this semester from that though is to try. There's no damage done in trying and pushing yourself, but there is when you just throw your hands up in the air and say forget it. I am an imposter and their is no need to try. And so i've learned that sometimes being outside your comfort zone is good. It pushes you too try to see things from other perspectives. I did an essay on that by the way which was frustrating beyond belief ,but I tried. I began this long journey hoping to gain insight on modern romance. Not just the book, but the topic in general. The book wasn't what I expected at all. Learning terms, concepts, and statistics wasn't really what I was expecting from Aziz Ansari. Half way through the book I realized what he was able to do. By using his voice and his name, Ansari was able to appeal to a wide audience that otherwise wouldn't of read these interesting facts that were in his book. That's something else I learned this semester. Know your audience. Sometimes it's about knowing how you can deliver your knowledge while making it interesting at the same time. I'm trying to keep that it mind while trying to compose my final essay. So far white Microsoft Word has been my view ,but my hope is something will spark. Through the last essay I know the information is there. I have the facts, I know the facts are indeed facts because they're from peer reviewed articles. How do I deliver that information in a way that will appeal to an audience ? How do I compose a essay using that knowledge and make it meaningful ? I have yet to find out, but I do know one thing going into trying to compose it, that I'm going to try. That's what I learned this semester that somewhere in these assignments that make you want to cry and sometimes I actually have cried I know something will come out of it. I'll learn something I didn't know before and although it might have taken tears to get there I will have to remind myself.....
The answer will be no, no I didn't die. So, if you want to know what I learned these past 18 weeks it has been that it's ok to feel completely lost. It's ok to stare at a blank screen as long as you continue and not give up. I might not know how to compose this new essay which you assigned but that doesn't mean I can't try and learn how to. #GrowthMindSet