A long time ago in a galaxy far, far away, or much more like in the University of Stanford in the year 2004, a college student by the name of Mark Zuckerberg created a site entitled TheFacebook. The rest as we have all come to know is history. Facebook is now integrated in one way or another in everyone’s life. In terms of technological advancements and the introduction of social media this generation is leading the way on what future generations should expect from having this new platform in their lives. There is no way to disregard the fact that technology has had in impact in modern day romance. According to Aziz Ansari “In 2014 the average American spent nearly 7.5 hours per day in front of a screen”. It is nearly impossible to not interact with your partner in one way or another via means of social media as Ansari states “our phone worlds are integral to even the most mundane of tasks, of course, they are also a big part of where we live our romantic lives”. In particular, this generation is paving the way as to what effects Facebook has in regards to romantic relationships. In a technological world where transparency and privacy in a relationship seem to be intertwined and polluted with the lens of social media it seems with have unknowingly allowed Facebook to become a member of our romantic relationships. Facebook usage among couples has increased jealousy and uncertainty in romantic relationships causing it to become modern day’s new third wheel.
Increased social media usage has spilled over into romantic relationships and thus has contributed to negative experiences particularly in the avenue of jealousy. Facebook has made accessibility to view our partner’s everyday interactions easily available and as a result has increased the likelihood of experiencing jealousy both on and offline. According to a study conducted by Dr. Rachel Elphinston from the school of phycology at the University of Queensland “Facebook provides people with a visible interpersonal forum in which the information shared between Facebook friends can be ambiguous and perceived by a relationship partner as threatening”. In other words, a simple post from a persons partner to their friend might be misconstrued as meaning something other than. Although this platform has made transparency in the interactions our partners have with others a possibility it has also brought about confusion and has added a layer for interpretation. As a result, although the ability to monitor a partner’s interaction might seem well intentioned and beneficial, the person is unknowingly allowing Facebook to play a role in their romantic relationship. As stated in Dr. Elphinston study “because the interpersonal nature of Facebook…. the infinite number of third party threats, encourages the experience of jealous thoughts” these finding are not only significant in understanding how couples have allowed Facebook to contribute to jealousy, but ultimately they are allowing this jealousy to supply the tools that lead to a dissatisfying relationship.
Public declaring relationship statuses via Facebook has contributed to turmoil and uncertainty in modern relationships instead of adding feelings of security. Becoming Facebook official has become modern day’s tie signs. As described in a case study conducted by Gabor Orosz from the institute of psychology in Budapest “tie signs are acts, objects or expressions which make evident the nature of a relationship”. In essence declaring one’s relationship status via Facebook should suffice to establish the nature and significance of a romantic relationship to both parties involved. Taking into consideration today’s public online environment Orosz describes the act of becoming Facebook official as “a deliberate decision to signal that both parties are off the market”. This would entail both parties involved have come to a mutual understanding of exclusivity. However, recent studies explain that although tie signs might have been sufficient in the past in the age of technology we have stumbled upon untouched terrain and relying on a status update to serve as a tie sign might revolve around perspective. Orosz notes, “posting relationship status is a major factor for women’s satisfaction”. It is relevant to note that the he discusses how women feel satisfaction, but there is no mention of men. It is here where the problem arises. In a case study conducted by Dr. Jesse Fox from the school of communication at the University of Ohio State, Dr. Fox concluded “that men were less likely than women to believe that Facebook Official implied exclusivity in the relationship”. This signals a very big difference in viewpoint. Where as women seem to find security in the implications of becoming Facebook official the fact that they relied on it to determine the level of commitment leads room for interpretation. It seems Modern day couples have unknowingly let a status update hinder their perception of what might have just a few generations ago been clear.
If we take a look into how long distance relationships have benefited from using Facebook, perhaps we can find a solution to how close distant relationships can benefit from the platform as well. It seems long distance relationships take advantage of the benefits Facebook has to offer instead of letting it dictate their relationship. It may be if couples use Facebook not as a means to establish a relationship, but rather maintain one there can be a solution of allowing Facebook to become our third wheel. In a study conducted by Cherrie Billedo from the department of communication at the University of Amsterdam Billedo concluded “When couples lack daily togetherness for an extended period of time, social networking sites serve as a means of maintenance”. That is to say long distance couples use Facebook as an asset to their relationship communication. It is fair to say that although close distant relationships have daily interactions that long distant couples lack because of work, school, kids, etc. some close distant relationships could use these relationship maintains techniques to strengthen their bond. As concluded in the study by Billedo “Social Networking Sites is a viable medium for relationship maintenance. Aside from regular interpersonal communications between couples, it provides social and public contexts for relationship processes that are typically limited in long distant relationships”. In other words, Billedo study suggests there are benefits that can be achieved though using social networking sites in a romantic relationship. Although for some romantic couples’ distance might not be an issue per se perhaps time together is. In this form social networking sites can serve as medium to stay connected to your partner while publically acknowledge your bond together. Incidentally, if we use Facebook as a technique to maintain our relationship like long distant couples do, perhaps our perspective as to how Facebook has intruded into our romantic lives might change. Maybe the idea of having Facebook as a third wheel might not seem so bad after all.
WORK CITED
Ansari, Aziz, and Eric Klinenberg. Modern Romance. New York: Penguin, 2015. Print.
Billedo, Cherrie Joy, Peter Kerkhof, and Catrin Finkenauer. "The Use Of Social Networking
Sites For Relationship Maintenance In Long-Distance And Geographically Close Romantic Relationships." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 18.3 (2015): 152-157. Academic Search Complete. Web. 20 May 2016.
Elphinston, Rachel A., and Patricia Noller. "Time To Face It! Facebook Intrusion And The
Implications For Romantic Jealousy And Relationship Satisfaction." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 14.11 (2011): 631-635. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 May 2016.
Orosz, Gábor, et al. "Elevated Romantic Love And Jealousy If Relationship Status Is Declared
On Facebook." Frontiers In Psychology 6.(2015): 1-6. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 May 2016.
Fox, Jesse, and Katie M. Warber. "Romantic Relationship Development In The Age Of
Facebook: An Exploratory Study Of Emerging Adults' Perceptions, Motives, And Behaviors." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 16.1 (2013): 3-7. Academic Search Complete. Web. 5 May 2016.
Increased social media usage has spilled over into romantic relationships and thus has contributed to negative experiences particularly in the avenue of jealousy. Facebook has made accessibility to view our partner’s everyday interactions easily available and as a result has increased the likelihood of experiencing jealousy both on and offline. According to a study conducted by Dr. Rachel Elphinston from the school of phycology at the University of Queensland “Facebook provides people with a visible interpersonal forum in which the information shared between Facebook friends can be ambiguous and perceived by a relationship partner as threatening”. In other words, a simple post from a persons partner to their friend might be misconstrued as meaning something other than. Although this platform has made transparency in the interactions our partners have with others a possibility it has also brought about confusion and has added a layer for interpretation. As a result, although the ability to monitor a partner’s interaction might seem well intentioned and beneficial, the person is unknowingly allowing Facebook to play a role in their romantic relationship. As stated in Dr. Elphinston study “because the interpersonal nature of Facebook…. the infinite number of third party threats, encourages the experience of jealous thoughts” these finding are not only significant in understanding how couples have allowed Facebook to contribute to jealousy, but ultimately they are allowing this jealousy to supply the tools that lead to a dissatisfying relationship.
Public declaring relationship statuses via Facebook has contributed to turmoil and uncertainty in modern relationships instead of adding feelings of security. Becoming Facebook official has become modern day’s tie signs. As described in a case study conducted by Gabor Orosz from the institute of psychology in Budapest “tie signs are acts, objects or expressions which make evident the nature of a relationship”. In essence declaring one’s relationship status via Facebook should suffice to establish the nature and significance of a romantic relationship to both parties involved. Taking into consideration today’s public online environment Orosz describes the act of becoming Facebook official as “a deliberate decision to signal that both parties are off the market”. This would entail both parties involved have come to a mutual understanding of exclusivity. However, recent studies explain that although tie signs might have been sufficient in the past in the age of technology we have stumbled upon untouched terrain and relying on a status update to serve as a tie sign might revolve around perspective. Orosz notes, “posting relationship status is a major factor for women’s satisfaction”. It is relevant to note that the he discusses how women feel satisfaction, but there is no mention of men. It is here where the problem arises. In a case study conducted by Dr. Jesse Fox from the school of communication at the University of Ohio State, Dr. Fox concluded “that men were less likely than women to believe that Facebook Official implied exclusivity in the relationship”. This signals a very big difference in viewpoint. Where as women seem to find security in the implications of becoming Facebook official the fact that they relied on it to determine the level of commitment leads room for interpretation. It seems Modern day couples have unknowingly let a status update hinder their perception of what might have just a few generations ago been clear.
If we take a look into how long distance relationships have benefited from using Facebook, perhaps we can find a solution to how close distant relationships can benefit from the platform as well. It seems long distance relationships take advantage of the benefits Facebook has to offer instead of letting it dictate their relationship. It may be if couples use Facebook not as a means to establish a relationship, but rather maintain one there can be a solution of allowing Facebook to become our third wheel. In a study conducted by Cherrie Billedo from the department of communication at the University of Amsterdam Billedo concluded “When couples lack daily togetherness for an extended period of time, social networking sites serve as a means of maintenance”. That is to say long distance couples use Facebook as an asset to their relationship communication. It is fair to say that although close distant relationships have daily interactions that long distant couples lack because of work, school, kids, etc. some close distant relationships could use these relationship maintains techniques to strengthen their bond. As concluded in the study by Billedo “Social Networking Sites is a viable medium for relationship maintenance. Aside from regular interpersonal communications between couples, it provides social and public contexts for relationship processes that are typically limited in long distant relationships”. In other words, Billedo study suggests there are benefits that can be achieved though using social networking sites in a romantic relationship. Although for some romantic couples’ distance might not be an issue per se perhaps time together is. In this form social networking sites can serve as medium to stay connected to your partner while publically acknowledge your bond together. Incidentally, if we use Facebook as a technique to maintain our relationship like long distant couples do, perhaps our perspective as to how Facebook has intruded into our romantic lives might change. Maybe the idea of having Facebook as a third wheel might not seem so bad after all.
WORK CITED
Ansari, Aziz, and Eric Klinenberg. Modern Romance. New York: Penguin, 2015. Print.
Billedo, Cherrie Joy, Peter Kerkhof, and Catrin Finkenauer. "The Use Of Social Networking
Sites For Relationship Maintenance In Long-Distance And Geographically Close Romantic Relationships." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 18.3 (2015): 152-157. Academic Search Complete. Web. 20 May 2016.
Elphinston, Rachel A., and Patricia Noller. "Time To Face It! Facebook Intrusion And The
Implications For Romantic Jealousy And Relationship Satisfaction." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 14.11 (2011): 631-635. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 May 2016.
Orosz, Gábor, et al. "Elevated Romantic Love And Jealousy If Relationship Status Is Declared
On Facebook." Frontiers In Psychology 6.(2015): 1-6. Academic Search Complete. Web. 19 May 2016.
Fox, Jesse, and Katie M. Warber. "Romantic Relationship Development In The Age Of
Facebook: An Exploratory Study Of Emerging Adults' Perceptions, Motives, And Behaviors." Cyberpsychology, Behavior & Social Networking 16.1 (2013): 3-7. Academic Search Complete. Web. 5 May 2016.