So you want to be a mom ?
The worse type of guilt any women will experience won’t happen until she becomes a mother. Mothers guilt, from my personal experience is the worse type of guilt there is. You’re constantly questioning yourself and the choices you make for your child. Should I be a stay at home mom or should I be a working mom? Turns out no matter what your choice is you will always feel guilt.
When my daughter was born I wanted to fully experience what being a mom was like. I was a mom before with my son, but this would be my first “hands on” trial if you will. And so I embarked on the stay at home mom journey. What kind of guilt could possibly arise from that ? Will turns out a lot. When you’re with your daughter 24 hours a day 7 days a week there’s not a lot of time for anything. Having time to shower becomes a luxury. This is what I wanted though. I wanted to fully experience what being a mom was about, so how could I be complaining? Ah guilt. The vicious cycle then began. I felt guilt for wanting some “me” time and I felt guilt from having an opportunity of being a mother again and complaining about not having time for anything else. So began what I believe to be a life long cycle that I will probably live with for the rest of my life. You see, my daughter came after the loss of my son. I longed to have another child and now that my daughter is here I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining about how hard being a mother is. Life has handed me this gift and I should fully appreciate it. Yet here I am complaining about it. There is no middle ground. I feel as though I don’t have the right to complain because I more than anyone know how fast a life can be taken from you. I should fully embrace being a mom. Embrace it through the tantrums, embrace it through it’s difficult moments and not complain. The guilt of complaining is a tough one to bear. Any mother who has lost a child and has been given the gift of another knows what I’m talking about it. The constant fear that if you complain too much or even a little you could be called out. How dare I complain? I more than anyone knows what the pain of losing a child feels like how dare I complain ? Being a mother is hard, but being a mother after loosing a child takes parenting to a level that I hope not a lot of parents experience. In a sense your overcompensating for the child you loss. There’s guilt in that too. I guess there’s really no way to escape it and as a child loss mother I just have to learn to embrace it. The guilt that comes along with parenting. The guilt that come along with complaining about how hard it is to be a parent and the guilt that comes with the guilt of complaining about it. There’s no escaping it.
When my daughter was born I wanted to fully experience what being a mom was like. I was a mom before with my son, but this would be my first “hands on” trial if you will. And so I embarked on the stay at home mom journey. What kind of guilt could possibly arise from that ? Will turns out a lot. When you’re with your daughter 24 hours a day 7 days a week there’s not a lot of time for anything. Having time to shower becomes a luxury. This is what I wanted though. I wanted to fully experience what being a mom was about, so how could I be complaining? Ah guilt. The vicious cycle then began. I felt guilt for wanting some “me” time and I felt guilt from having an opportunity of being a mother again and complaining about not having time for anything else. So began what I believe to be a life long cycle that I will probably live with for the rest of my life. You see, my daughter came after the loss of my son. I longed to have another child and now that my daughter is here I feel like I shouldn’t be complaining about how hard being a mother is. Life has handed me this gift and I should fully appreciate it. Yet here I am complaining about it. There is no middle ground. I feel as though I don’t have the right to complain because I more than anyone know how fast a life can be taken from you. I should fully embrace being a mom. Embrace it through the tantrums, embrace it through it’s difficult moments and not complain. The guilt of complaining is a tough one to bear. Any mother who has lost a child and has been given the gift of another knows what I’m talking about it. The constant fear that if you complain too much or even a little you could be called out. How dare I complain? I more than anyone knows what the pain of losing a child feels like how dare I complain ? Being a mother is hard, but being a mother after loosing a child takes parenting to a level that I hope not a lot of parents experience. In a sense your overcompensating for the child you loss. There’s guilt in that too. I guess there’s really no way to escape it and as a child loss mother I just have to learn to embrace it. The guilt that comes along with parenting. The guilt that come along with complaining about how hard it is to be a parent and the guilt that comes with the guilt of complaining about it. There’s no escaping it.